Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
