I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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