Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
last night I used snow as a chaser
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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