she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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