I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he puts the penis in happiness.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
