Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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