She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
