dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
