Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Randomize
