That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
