We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
