He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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