Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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