so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
