...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
