I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
