Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
