He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
