ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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