you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
