your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
