I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
