Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
