You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
