is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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