I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
