Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
