I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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