Ambien. No doubt about it.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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