Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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