You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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