we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
