I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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