I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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