He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
