So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
