she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
