I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
