I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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