tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
