Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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