note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
