WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
