that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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