my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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