She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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