Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
