While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
