Your tits are I can't wait for
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
