tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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